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Writer's pictureKirsten

Perimenopause In The Bedroom

Updated: Sep 19

Menopause can have a profound impact on your intimate relationship. As your body goes through hormonal changes, it’s not uncommon to feel disconnected from your partner. These physical and emotional changes can affect how you relate to your loved one and can leave you feeling distant, withdrawn, or overwhelmed.



The Physical Impact on Intimacy

During menopause, you might experience symptoms that make intimacy challenging. Hot flushes, joint pain, migraines, and even ear ringing can add to your stress levels. The hormonal fluctuations also affect your mood, causing anxiety or irritability, and can disrupt your sleep. On top of all that, your libido may decrease, and you may experience vaginal dryness, making sex uncomfortable or even painful. All of these factors combined, or even just one or two, can take a toll on your relationship.


When these symptoms start to interfere with your physical and emotional wellbeing, it’s easy to feel like intimacy is just another source of stress. However, there are ways to ease the discomfort and reconnect with yourself and your partner.


Focusing on Communication

One of the most important things you can do is talk openly with your partner about what you’re experiencing. Sharing how menopause is affecting you physically and emotionally can help your partner better understand the changes you’re going through. While it might feel uncomfortable to bring up issues like vaginal dryness or lack of desire, having a conversation can foster greater empathy and closeness.


Let your partner know that this is a normal part of menopause and that it’s not a reflection of your feelings for them. In turn, your partner may find it easier to offer the support and patience you need during this time.


Reigniting Intimacy Beyond the Bedroom

Menopause may change your body, but it doesn’t have to diminish intimacy. One way to reconnect is by focusing on non-sexual forms of intimacy that can strengthen your bond. Creating shared experiences, such as a spa night where you relax together, play music, take a warm bath, or give each other massages, can help rebuild the emotional closeness that menopause may have strained.


Planning time away from the usual routine, such as a weekend trip, can also reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through new hobbies, a fun outing, or simply time spent in each other’s company, connecting and talking to each other, away from devices and other routine daily distractions, these activities can help you feel closer without the pressure of physical intimacy.


Practical Solutions for Physical Discomfort

For the physical challenges that come with menopause, there are practical solutions you can try to ease discomfort and bring pleasure back into your intimate life. Vaginal lubricants can help relieve dryness, making sex more comfortable and enjoyable. It may also be worth talking to your GP or a menopause specialist about vaginal oestrogen or other hormone treatments that can help improve vaginal health. Taking these steps can make a significant difference in how you feel physically, which in turn can improve your emotional connection with your partner.


Prioritising Your Self-Care

Amid the challenges of menopause, it’s crucial to make time for yourself. The physical and emotional strain can easily feel overwhelming, leaving little room for intimacy or connection with your partner. That’s why self-care becomes so important, it’s a way to recharge, nurture your body, and help you manage the changes you’re going through.


Our Empower & Thrive course offers a private, supportive space for you to focus on your well-being. This is your time to discuss any challenges you’re facing, whether it’s related to intimacy, vaginal health, or emotional balance. The course helps you feel more connected with yourself, which can naturally enhance your relationship with your partner.



Finding Balance Together

Menopause is a shared journey. While you’re the one going through the physical and emotional changes, it’s also a time when you and your partner can grow together by building new forms of intimacy and understanding. With open communication, a little creativity, and a focus on self-care, you can maintain a strong, loving bond, even as you navigate this transition.


If you’d like to explore strategies for managing menopause-related changes in your relationship, our Empower & Thrive course is designed to help you regain balance and feel more in control of your well-being.

The Menopause Journal

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